Sunday, January 6, 2013

Review: Windows 8 / SeaTac Airport Travelodge


Though I received a review copy of Windows 8 several months ago, I made a commitment to hold off on this write-up until my recent stay at the SeaTac Airport Travelodge.

And I'm glad I waited. Microsoft has been hard at work patching and refining their latest operating system, and the fruits of that labor created a perfect synergy with my accommodations at the budget-friendly motor lodge located less than five miles from the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, with in-room coffee maker, cable television, air conditioning, and a free shuttle departing for the airport every thirty minutes.

As I booted up my Sony 11.6 inch SVE11125CXW with Windows 8 for the first time, I was struck by the spaciousness of my room's round wooden table with honey-colored finish, located conveniently next to two working power outlets and within reach of the air conditioning unit's control panel. I adjusted the temperature to 68ºF, which is broadly considered to be the ideal indoor temperature.

"In today's world, it's good not to be racist, and nobody knows that better than Microsoft."

Next, it was time to choose a WiFi network. (WiFi is a new method computer terminals are using for zapping information out of the sky.) However, I was unable to determine which WiFi host to select, as there were twelve options. "FREEONLINE," "TRAVEL," "TRAVELL," "Sally Holden's Hotspot"... The list was extensive! In the end I chose "Jjtom-8wifi" but this network required a password so I gave up after a few guesses.

Microsoft then prompted me to create a "temporary account." I did this by entering my full name and the password "PASSWORD." This seemed to work, but before I was able to complete the setup process I heard several loud gunshots in rapid succession, followed by rage-filled screams!

Ducking beneath the spacious wooden table, I was dismayed to discover that there was not enough room for me to fit under the bed; the bed frame was too low to the ground! Perhaps I could crawl to the bathroom, where the understated beige tile walls would offer me greater protection? But there wasn't time.

My body tensed; eyes clenched as the window above shattered with a deafening crash. Shards of wet glass sprayed across the room like an ice storm on some terrifying alien planet. Then, silence. The smell of damp air and gun smoke. I wondered, "Will the new Windows 8 Quick Resume feature allow me to pick up my profile setup where I left off?" In a word, "yes!" I was able to complete my setup with plenty of time left over to transfer to a new room and get some serious shut-eye on clean, white linen sheets under a reasonably handsome jewel-toned floral pattern polyester bedspread.

It seems obvious to me that even when things go wrong, Windows 8 and the SeaTac Airport Travelodge have got a "plan B!"

Ratings

User Interface: 6/10
Sanitation: 8/10
Distance from Airport: 8/10
Gaming: 4/10
Denny's: 6/10

Overall: 7/10

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Curtis. I love you. Not "in that way," mind you, but definitely in other, nearly as meaningful, ways.

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    Replies
    1. That's okay Bryan. I love you not in that way too.

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