A recent study documented tree houses built by persons who had engaged in immoral sex acts with the same gender, versus tree houses built within the protection of a loving, heterosexual marriage. The results of the study are shocking.
- Heterosexual tree houses' most commonly touted features were "the windows," "the way it sits up there," and "it has a bucket."
- Homosexual tree houses included amenities such as "wet bar," "Harman Kardon® sound system," "hot tub," and "sling."
- While heterosexual tree house owners are more likely to take a passive stance toward pest control, gay owners typically employed a combination of motion detection and lasers.
- When given a budget of $500, heterosexual first-time builders used the funds to buy scraps of wood, while homosexual builders allocated the money toward further fundraising, leveraging female impersonators and wet underwear contests.
What kind of tree house do you want for America's future?