These Nine Popular Lotion Brands, which are already in your bathroom, are permanently altering your brain chemistry and destroying your love life.
Select the number (0 - 9, 0 being "almost never" and 9 being "when it happens") which corresponds to your feeling about the question, after you have answered it in your mind.
- Do you feel "more stupid" after you moisturize? (0 - 9)
- When was the last time you gave someone an "above average" kiss? (0 - 9)
- Evaluate: "My lotion contains things I don't understand." (0 - 9)
- If you live above the second floor, do you hear a thumping? (0 - 9)
- Do you notice that you clear your throat when you don't really need to? (0 - 9)
If you scored a number between 11 and 16, lotion may be destroying your life.
What Can I Do?
- Let your grocer know that lotion is confusing to you, and that you rarely have sex.
- Photograph any dry patches of skin and share these with your local law enforcement. The police keep a master list of lotions which cause the most distress.
- Write a short, catchy song to remind yourself about lotions which are damaging or ineffective.