Could Prehistoric Ocean Beasts Be Destabilizing the World's Economy?

Are ancient ocean beasts,  dead for thousands of years, manipulating the financial market with the malevolent goal of plunging us into a "second dark age?"

Yes.

The Earth's Next Bloop

In 1997, the NOAA's deep-sea microphone recorded the loudest noise it has ever captured under water. Though similar to the sound of a whale, "The Bloop" is orders of magnitude louder, leading researchers to consider the possibility that an unknown, impossibly large animal may inhabit the uncharted expanse of our ocean, silently waiting for over two decades.

One thing is certain: The Earth is due for another Bloop.

There are computer models which predict that if the next Bloop happens near a heavily populated area, all the traffic lights and ATMs within a five mile radius could malfunction.

Marissa Frye from the Ocean Is the Killer Private Fund paints a darker picture, estimating that the next Bloop, which Scientists are calling "The Über Bloop," is set to wipe out modern civilization, and indeed most life. "This is probably the end of us," she laughs, "but what can you do?"

Are you and your family ready?

Further Reading: BloopWatch.org